shock. loss. Hope.

There is no way I’m pregnant. With 2 kids already and 2 jobs, another baby was the last thing on my mind. It must just be stress making me feel this way. But, ok I will take the home test. Positive.

Ok, maybe that was wrong lets test again tomorrow to be sure. My heart was racing, my stomach lurching, as the pale, but definitely visible, second line stared back at me from the bathroom countertop. I’m pregnant. Surely this must be a mistake. My youngest is about to be 6 months old (at the time).

My first thoughts were for our youngest. How can I possibly give her the attention she needs if I’m distracted by months of morning sickness and worse — a brand new baby? Then our oldest, how can I turn her world upside AGAIN?

I was in shock. I didn’t know what to think. Everyone around me was happy, while surprised, when they heard the news. Still, I couldn’t shake the sorrow.

Yes, I want more kids in the future, but now? I knew the life growing inside of me was already part of our family. I just needed time to get used to the idea.

As time went on, I began to come around to the idea of 3 kids and 2 jobs. As the sickness started to lessen, so did my feelings of anxiety. We would figure out the schedules and the money and all the other details a family with three kids always does. I was even starting to enjoy the idea of three kids running around together making messes, sharing stories and filling our home with giggles.

Then at 10 weeks, IT happened. I began to loose the baby. We fought. We fought hard to hold on to this baby. But God had different plans. I had a miscarriage.

I felt so guilty. Guilty over not wanting this baby to begin with, guilty for all the times I prayed with bitterness about the pregnancy and afraid that maybe all my negative emotions had caused this little life to leave me. Which is NOT true! A miscarriage cannot be explained sometimes – and even more so in our situation. However, we know God has a better plan. We don’t see it and we might not understand it, but we have to TRUST it.

Through the chaos of emotions my body reacted negatively and I ended up spending most of my night in an ER. Thankfully, the LORD was there every step of the process. He gave us the perfect ER Doctor. He lead us right where we needed to be. He allowed the right medical attention given to me at the right time. He designed our bodies so well that my body can heal itself after the past 10 weeks.

Our Angel Baby is now sitting at the LORD’s feet. Our Angel Baby now has an even better life than I could ever imagine. Our Angel Baby will never have to worry about sin, temptation or worldly desires. Instead, our Angel Baby will walk the streets of gold and forever worship. Nothing better than knowing your children are with the Father. Still it hurts, but there is peace with the Father.

Come to Me, all who are weary and heavy-laden, and I will give you rest. Matthew 11:28

Blessed are those who mourn, for they shall be comforted. Matthew 5:4

When you pass through the waters, I will be with you; And through the rivers, they will not overflow you. When you walk through the fire, you will not be scorched, Nor will the flame burn you. Isaiah 43:2

Knowing that God has a perfect plan for our lives gives me an indescribable hope for the future. I think I will always get sad when I look back on this time in our life, but I will continue to rejoice knowing that God works for the good of those who love Him. You could spend your whole life asking why something happened, but you will never have any peace until you give it over to God. His plan and his timing are far better than anything we can imagine for ourselves.

For I know the plans I have for you, declares the Lord, plans to prosper you and not to harm you, plans to give you hope and a future. Jeremiah 29:11

And we know that in all things God works for the good of those who love Him, who have been called according to His purpose. Romans 8:28

I may not understand the situation now, but I know who HOLDS the situation.
I may hurt, but I know who HOLDS me.
I may be confused, but I know who KNOWS all the answers.

Our Angel Baby will forever be apart of our family.
We love you, Angel!
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Ladies’ Tea

As I sit at home on my couch sipping some tea I cannot help but smile! This morning we had 39 women gather together for a Ladies’ Tea at First Evangelical Presbyterian Church and what a day it was!

The day began with my parents and I doing last minute touches to make sure the room was decorated properly, the food was prepared and on the tables, the games were ready, and most of all making sure God was in the center of it all. The room had 5 round tables, each with 8 chairs, arranged in a “U” shape. Each table had a pretty table cloth (white or peach) with a beautiful doily in the center. On top of the doily was a Teapot, cream, sugar and some beautiful fresh flowers that were cut short. For each table setting there was a different china tea cup, plate, brightly colored napkin and spoon. The mixed match tea cups made it PERFECT! On each table were 2 platters FULL of food! We had scones, muffins, quiche, sweet bread, fruit and cookies. (We like to eat at our church 😉 )

We had a table off to the side as our “vintage” decorations. These decorations are family heirlooms from my dads side of the family. We had hats (one was my Mimi’s hat she wore on her wedding day), brooches, porcelain doll, wooden rocker and even some vintage tea cups! It was a perfect accent to the room!

There was a table where everyone was able to self serve their own tea. With 7 different types of tea for the ladies to choose there was something for everyone!

Once ladies began to arrive, the sound of different ages of ladies’ voices filled the room. It was perfect! Ladies of ALL ages and stages were able to mingle and it was BEAUTIFUL! All the tables began to fill up and everyone began to serve themselves tea and yummy goodies!

Once we chatted for a good while, we played our first game. Once we had a winner, I was able to introduce a very special woman to speak…my MOM!

My mom was able to share with us how to WATCH ourselves as women. She presented it in an acronym:
W-words
A- attitude
T- temptations
C- character
H- household

Our words, no matter our age, can speak life or death. “Today I have given you the choice between life and death, between blessings and curses. Now I call on heaven and earth to witness the choice you make. Oh, that you would choose life, so that you and your descendants might live!” (Deuteronomy 30:19 NLT)

We ALL need a positive attitude. “May God, who gives this patience and encouragement, help you live in complete harmony with each other, as is fitting for followers of Christ Jesus.” (Romans 15:5 NLT) Wow! We need to have the same attitude as Jesus!

We are all tempted. No matter what age or stage we are all tempted…how do we overcome it? By the WORD! (See John 16:33, 1 Corinthians 10:13, and Psalm 119:11)

Your character does matter! Our character is not only who you are when no one is watching…it’s who you are to YOUR CORE! The world changes but we must stand strong! ‘Don’t be fooled by those who say such things, for “bad company corrupts good character.”’ (1 Corinthians 15:33 NLT) You might have heard it before said that it is easier to pull someone down than to pull them up…watch your character!

Finally, Guard your household! It has been said “Home should tell the story of who you are and be the collection of what you love.” If you don’t guard your home…no one else will. (Joshua 24:15)

She left us with something to think about: What impact are we having in our corner of the world?
God put YOU here for such a time as this!

We closed the tea with a few more games and laughs.

What I loved most about the Ladies’ Tea was the women coming together and sharing life. As women, we NEED each other! We need sisters in Christ who will love on us, walk with us, hurt with us, rejoice with us and who will just do life with us. I pray today’s tea was the beginning of those relationships! I pray that all the seeds of relationships that were planted will grow and we will see sisters helping sisters in the days to come.

I challenge you to strengthen relationships you already have and tend to the new ones you made today. May we be a light for each other and our community that so desperately needs it. When life gets tough and challenges come your way, you have sisters that are ready to face the challenge head on with you!

Ladies, I LOVE each one of you more than you can ever know! I am always here for you.

XOXO,
Marcy

For those of you who would like to see pictures of the Tea, clink on the link below 🙂

https://www.facebook.com/media/set/?set=a.837145529652485.1073741831.194222763944768&type=3

 

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Marriage…It Takes Work

With the Valentine’s Season approaching I wanted to reflect a little on my marriage.

It has been just over a year and a half since we got married. What a year and a half it has been.

Over this year and a half I have had to learn many hard lessons and I am thankful to have a man that loves God enough to stick it out with me. This has been the hardest time in my life to date, but yet the best time.

I wanted to share today what I have learned. I know I haven’t been married long and I sure don’t have it all figured out. There are just a few of the things that have made a huge difference in my life.

1. Love each other at all times even if you can’t stand each other.
What I mean by that is always love your spouse even if you don’t like him/her at the time. There have been times during this year and a half that I have not liked my husband at a particular moment but I still love him. Yes, I didn’t like him because he was pushing all my buttons or not helping but yet I still loved him.

2. Date each other.
After your “honeymoon glow” wears off don’t forget to date each other. I know everyone already told you this, but honestly that has what has held our marriage together. When my husband out money aside and says “I’m taking you on a date” I feel special…just like I did when we were dating. When he and I go on a date (whether it be a date at home or out somewhere) we always put away our phones. If we go out we leave our phones in the car. If we are at home, our phones are on silent and in another room. If you are like us and have kids you can check them just to make sure your kiddos are ok…but not to check Facebook, Twitter, Instagram, games or whatever else. Your date night is for you and your spouse only!

3. Go to your spouse before others.
This applies a lot to women, especially women that live close to their mothers. Go to your spouse for advice, encouragement, love, support, etc before you would go to your mom, friend, sister, brother, etc. I tend to go to other before my husband, because I normally think “he has to much going on…he doesn’t need my baggage.” When in fact he WANTED my baggage….he WANTED to help me. When I thought it was helping him not to go to him…it actually hurt him.

4. Love their family.
I am lucky in the department; my husband’s family is absolutely amazing. I love being with them, I love having them come visit us, I love visiting them, I love how they love my Abigail, and I love how they love me. Like I said, I am blessed, but not everyone is as blessed as I am. You might not like your spouse’s family, but LOVE them. They are everything to your spouse. Just think about how much your family means to you and remember that is how your spouse feels about their family too.

5.  Enjoy marriage.
God designed marriage to be a fun thing in life. You grow up always dreaming about what marriage will be like one day…now stop dreaming and LIVE your dream. If it isn’t the dream day find ways to make it a dream day. Enjoy having your spouse and remind yourself why you fell in love with them in the first place. Play like you are teens just beginning to date, flirt and enjoy marriage.

The best piece of advice I can ever give you concerning marriage is PRAY. Marriage is a decision you make everyday to love and be with your spouse. Make the best of it. Bless your spouse and pray God will guide your every step.

These few things have gotten us to a year and a half…and I think that is pretty good 🙂

Xoxo,

Marcy

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Past Few Months

These past few months have been absolutely crazy, which is the reason for my blogging break.

 

In August, I married my bestfriend and started a full time teaching job. The wedding was absolutely perfect in every aspect! Luis and I were so blessed by the service and it was a wonderful day for us.  After the wedding we went to Florida for a week. We had so much fun just being together and relaxing on the beach. When we returned to DFW, he went back to work and I had 2 weeks off before I began teaching full time.

 

The week of the wedding I had gotten a full time teaching job and I was excited about it, however I was nervous. I would be teaching Elementary Library, Secondary Music, and Junior High Spanish. I graduated with a degree in Music so I had no clue what I was doing, but I knew God had a plan. I began school at the end of August and went in full swing. I would teach 22 classes a week and have over 350 students.

 

About the middle of September, we found out we were pregnant with our first child. We did not plan having a child this soon, however God had a better plan. Our little girl will be born in April of 2013. We are so excited. Once we got over the shock and just rested in God we knew that this was what God had planned for us and we are excited.

 

For me this pregnancy was God’s way of letting me know His plan is much better than my own. I have always planned everything out and when it does not go the way I had hoped, I get nervous and freak out a bit. God is teaching me slowly that He is in control and not me. I have truly learned to trust His plan these past few months.

 

I am so thankful that I have had my wonderful husband through these past few months. Together we have faced many obstacles and are excited to welcome our baby girl in a few months. Through the obstacles and trials we have faced, we have not only gotten closer to each other, but we have truly trusted God in every step.

 

Today if you are at a cross road, trust in Him. Even when you feel like things are crumbling around you, know God has you. God will never leave you nor forsake you. Trust in this truth today.

 

XOXO
Marcy

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Bragging on the Boyfriend :)

Since Valentine’s Day was yesterday…I wanted to brag on my amazing boyfriend, Luis.

I have been blessed to be dating such a wonderful man of God for the past 2 years and 5 months. It has been a crazy time, but I could not ask for a better man.

Luis is always there for me when I need him. He always knows exactly what to say when I am having my freak out moments. He is there for me cheering me on at all times. I am one blessed girl.

We have had our ups and downs but the fact that we can make it through and still love each other is the best feeling. He balances me out. I am a very strong willed woman and I need a guy that will let me strong willed sometimes, but will still be the head of the relationship. I found that in Luis. When I’m having a hard day, he knows exactly what to say and he is always there.

The best part of my time with Luis is that I am able to get closer to God in every step. He brings me closer to God everyday.

When I was going through the rough time with my back and not knowing how I was going to get through it, Luis was there. He prayed over me and never left my side. He is my rock when I feel like everything around me is falling apart. When I feel like I cannot keep going, he gives me the reason to keep going.

I am so blessed by him and I cannot wait to see what God will do in the years to come with us 🙂

Thank you for letting me brag a little bit 🙂

Below is a picture of us from my voice recital back in November. He was the biggest help during the stressful times getting ready for that day. There were days I would call him crying saying I could not do this, but he was there cheering me on the whole time. It showed me how blessed I truly am 🙂

Xoxo